small weekend

I have to talk eerrr... write about the R1 Big Weekend, well I should call it the R1 big 'toss-off', or R1 big 'Rip-Off' , was it free?, I doubt it, but since we are all paying ten trillion ******' squiddlies a year to pay a bunch of BBC super-exec's humungous bonuses and add on Jonathan Ross's squiddillions, they shoulda been paying us to go shouldn't they?... the only reason I talk about it, coz after all, no-one gives a toss do they ?? !!, is, that, it was on my doorstep, well not exactly on it, as they probably wouldn't have had room for the lighting rig,, but quite close... Madonna wanted to stay with me, but there was no room for all her guitars, because yes, she is a ******' guitar player now, many years spent on the road in Rock 'n' Roll bands, then her time spent jamming with ACDC, Neil Young and Jimmy Page has meant she has ditched the disco queen of old, coz she's taking up The Blues in her later years, yes the latter part of her life will be spent treating us to the back catalogue of Robert Johnson at the ******' Crossroads, whence she made a pact with the devil and decided it was the best way to mature in a dignified manner, without the need for facial & body enhancing (?) surgery, coz when you play the Blues, its OK to be old.. hence,,, (stay with me)... her 9 song long set, and 2 hours spent changing guitars between numbers,... no, not for her the 1 guitar gig like her counterparts Coldplay, Radiohead, and eerrr ,, The Kooks, she needed 20 or was it 30,,, it was infact a guitar for every chord strummed... great idea, ditch the electro disco of late and get into guitar rock, its what we've all been ******' waiting for, thanks a bunch Madonna, next time your not welcome in Kent, and leave your ******’ guitars at home..

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